Midnight Reflections - 1998 Changed Everything

At the time, it felt like just another year. Looking back, it became one of the most important years of my life.

In this first Midnight Reflection, I revisit the family milestones, personal losses, movies, games, and memories that shaped who I would become. From discovering Dragon Ball and Metal Gear Solid to starting a new school and navigating major changes at home, 1998 quietly laid the foundation for many of the passions, hobbies, and interests that still define me today.

This isn't a history lesson about 1998—it's a reflection on how certain years shape our lives long before we realize their significance.

Welcome to Midnight Reflections.

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Welcome to the Midnight Release presents Midnight Reflections with Chase. Today's episode is called 1998 Change Everything. Welcome everyone to the Midnight Release. You are probably thinking to yourself, what is this? There is not supposed to be an episode out until next week. That is an accurate statement. However, we have decided to do this series called Midnight Reflections. And if think of it as a one-shot, quick 30 minutes. Actually, this is a solo show, if you will. I'm by myself. And we're just going to have a very particular topic in mind, no side quest or story mode or anything like that. Just a narrative and a reflection on that narrative. So what is Midnight Reflections? It's exactly that. We're going to have a specific topic in mind. It could be very introspective. It could be something in line with things that we have covered, like doing a summary of a game series that I love, but maybe you've never played and you just want to hear about it. Maybe we'll talk about a movie or a TV show or something like that. It could be something fun and quirky like that, or like this kind of inaugural episode, more introspective. And specifically, what are we talking about today? Really, it's why a random nine-year-old kid in Louisville, Kentucky had his life fully shaped by a single year and didn't even realize that it would become historic. Not just for me specifically, but also kind of in general, whenever you reflect back on that year. You've heard us talk about 1998 on the pod and specifically the impact it's had on me, sometimes very specific, but also sometimes pretty broad. And this is going to be a very deep personal reflection on that year and why it was so important, primarily for myself, but also probably for a lot of other people as well. When we talk about some of the things that came out during that time and that I was exposed to. So let's just go ahead and jump right into the narrative around how 1998 changed everything. So for me personally, I've always known that 1998 was a very critical year for me. And that was because of a number of very important personal things that happened in that year. My mom got remarried in 1998, and it had been my mom, my sister, and I for you know the first nine years of my life. Now, that's not to exclude other family, of course, aunts, uncles, grandparents, definitely not including grandparents, uh, but it was a very important moment in that year. And what made it so important was the fact that I didn't particularly get along with who would be my stepdad for the next nine, ten years. Not to say, you know, I am not this is not to talk bad about my childhood. This is not bad to talk about my life during that time. That's not what this is about at all. It was just a big change that I was not emotionally equipped to deal with. And addition to that, because of the life change, it was also decided that I would change schools. I had been in Jefferson County Public Schools. Say what you want about Jefferson County Public Schools, but all my friends that I had were in that school. And it was an elementary school, I was in third grade, everyone I knew was there. But because of the life circumstances that had changed, which is also why I don't want to try and talk negatively about my childhood or anything like that, I'm very, very thankful. And in everything. But I was gonna pivot to a private school, and that was gonna be in my fourth grade year, so in August of 1998. Well, starting a new school, as you can imagine, is a whole thing. But before I even get into that and the impact of going to a new school, not knowing anyone, not to mention it was a Catholic school, and you know, yes, my my grandmother was very religious and in everything, but I was not a religious person. Like we didn't go to church or anything like that, but it was going to be a Catholic school. That was due to start in August, but right before school started, because this school did not have Central Air, so a lot of times they would delay starting till later in August or even early in September. August 24th of 1998 is when my grandfather passed away, my papa. And those years before mom got remarried, my grandparents, I think a lot of kids that grew up kind of in this era, you were used to, and I say a lot of kids, I understand that everyone's circumstances are different by any means, but you know, the idea of spending a lot of time with your grandparents seems to be a common theme with folks that grew up kind of in that era in the 90s and and everything. And that was no exception for us. Mom worked several different jobs, including nights. She was at the forefront of like technology stuff, you know, teaching people how to use Word and all that jazz. But we spent a lot of time with my mom and my papa, who lived right down the street. And, you know, something else just to call out is, you know, I grew up in the exact same neighborhood, but four different houses. From the moment I was born until the moment I turned like 18. I think I left the neighborhood very briefly and then came back and was there until I was like 22 or 23. But uh, but anyway, we spent a lot of time with my grandparents, and in general, I've got some uncles and and my cousin, of course, and uh, but my grandfather was a very staple father figure for me. So you take into account that my mom gets remarried, and then my grandfather, who is my staple kind of father figure, passes away, and starting a brand new school. It was a lot that year. And I've always reflected on that year and understood how impactful it was for me because of those things, because of those three things: mom getting married, papa passing away, and starting a new school. Those three things had a really huge impact on me. I I didn't have friends at school. Um, the the bullying stuff was a big deal. It was just really, it was rough, it was really bad. And I'm not gonna shy away from the fact that a Catholic school, a private school education is significantly better than what you can get public school. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And I struggled that first year, you know, with the uh the the practices uh that occurred kind of within school. You know, all that's obviously really heavy stuff to to talk about. And and it and it was, it was something that, you know, in general, uh I knew it always had kind of an impact on me. But aside from those things, you know, that that are very kind of heavy, if you will, that someone can reflect on and and and have an impact on who they they become, I already had kind of noticed that a lot of the things that I am obsessed with also came into my life during that year. Now, right out of the gate, I have always known that the first time I played Metal Gear Solid, my favorite game of all time, was in 1998. I I I've always known that, and it always made me chuckle because I I I associated '98 as a very rough, traumatic year, but then it was like, oh, Metal Gear, you know, I'm still obsessed with that today. The first time I got exposed to Dragon Ball. Now, I acknowledge Dragon Ball came to the U.S. before then, but my exposure was in 1998. You know, we went to get my hair cut at um uh it was one of my stepdad's friends was cutting hair, and we went to their house. After I got my hair cut, they were like, go upstairs and and you know, hang out. And uh her son was watching Dragon Ball. And from that moment on, it was the the Saiyan saga, I was hooked. And those two things are probably the two most important things in my life, and I acknowledge how rough it is to say that because it's not actually the two most important things, but conceptually it's it's definitely something that is so deep-rooted in my personality that I'm sure folks are sick of hearing me talk about Metal Gear and Dragon Ball. But all these other things have come up since we've started doing the podcast, and you know, I've it's it's allowed me to realize that that these things that I hold so near and dear to me now essentially were my crutch and and my support. Not that I didn't have support from from my mom and my sister and thing. I I don't want to ups that kind of narrative, but I very much was you know latched on to these things. Dragon Ball, Metal Gear, you know, then through this pod we realized that the Game Boy Color released in 1998. Now I didn't get one in 1998, but Pokemon. Pokemon was another huge kind of safe haven and outlet that, you know, as I progressed through that Catholic school, I did eventually make some friends. You know, I wasn't just this this completely uh antisocial person. I did find my people there, but I still very much associated with the the friends I had from the public school. You know, my my friend Quentin, we've known each other since I was four years old, lived in the neighborhood, you know, so that that was how we always you know played Pokemon. We'd go over there and do the link cables and you know all that. You know, um, but also through the pod and through some of this other TikTok stuff, like I've I've realized some other very staple things. You know, there's a movie out there and it's called Patch Adams, has Robin Williams in it. And you know, I have no doubt my mom and sister listened to the the pod and know that Patch Adams, you know, it's it's inspired by a true story, but in general, I I could argue that Patch Adams was a story about my grandpa because you know he he dressed up as a clown and he went to a place here locally called Home of the Innocents and ended up kind of expanding beyond that and and just it it literally personifies Pappa in so many ways. And until I did a recent TikTok series where I was talking about movies that made me cry, you know, because I very much, you know, I I think anyone can agree some of your most pivotal years growing up are, you know, obviously puberty and and things like that. But I mean, you know, from nine to eighteen, you know, mom and my stepdad were together, and and that was the childhood that I had, which I am very thankful for the opportunities that that that brought. And I reflect back on it, and that's why I'm so nostalgic. But uh I acknowledge some some toxic masculinity traits that kind of came out of that, you know, and and you know, society standards about, you know, being a man and da-da-da-da-da, and don't cry, and all those things. And so the movies that I mentioned in that TikTok series of me crying, the only one I actually remember crying to as a kid was Armageddon, actually, that also released in 1998. The other movies in that series, including Patch Adams, I I didn't cry watching that until much later in life as an adult when I kind of learned to scrap some of that that kind of toxic masculinity aspect of things. Not that I've fully gotten away from that, because I still fall and succumb to some of those stereotypes all the time, but but Armageddon as a kid, like I remember watching that and just sobbing. Luckily, I was watching it by myself. And to find out, you know, in this research that it came out in 1998, I'm just like, are you kidding me? And Patch Adams, same way. And, you know, there's another movie series that came out in 1998, which is Rush Hour. Now, Rush Hour isn't necessarily an emotional connection, per se, but it's one of my favorite movie trilogies of all time. And I I wish they'd bring it back. I don't know if they could, but it's another just kind of staple, very iconic franchise for me. Like I remember seeing it in theaters. I remember sitting and watching it with mom and and my sister and all of that. It just, you know, my friends, we were watching it, and you know, uh then to also learn that another Bruce Willis movie, Mercury Rising, also came out in 1998. Now, the significance about Mercury Rising in kind of all of this is that the premise of Mercury Rising is that a young, autistic boy solves a government code and essentially they they send the government to kill him, basically. And Bruce Willis is responsible for protecting this kid. But here here's the thing about that movie. So my visual representation, that's maybe not the word, my visual perception of autism has always been this movie. If you have not seen it, it is a great movie, but you can also watch it and acknowledge that we know now that autism is a spectrum, and and that is not the quintessential definition, you know, visually, of what autism is for everyone. However, my son is autistic and nonverbal, and I navigate a lot of things that come with that. And you know, there's there's there's a lot to think about and talk about on that, but uh thinking back to this movie was something that I had to to kind of overcome, per se. And you know, I've I've I've had those discussions with myself and and still working through some of that, but to find out that this movie also came out in 1998. It's another very symbolic thing, you know, to to to to to understand that that is a year that kind of defined me from a I hate to use the word trauma, it's such a it's such a overused word these days, but to to to to understand that that that really shaped me from that perspective, but then to start associating all of these things that I love and enjoy and found safety in, not from a don't perceive that any other way. It's just a word that came to mind. Just to to realize that was something interesting, and then to continue realizing these other relevancies, you know, with these other movies that release, with the Game Boy having released during that time, you know, is is absolutely insane. And it kind of goes even further than that in some kind of quirky ways. Also did a TikTok series about about songs and in music, and I can't remember kind of in what context I brought it up, but um there is so yes, I grew up with the thought process, you know, hey, you shouldn't cry, you're a boy, blah, blah, blah. However, I totally, totally did cry at my my papa's funeral. I'm not even gonna try and say I didn't, totally did. But there was a song that my mom picked to play at that funeral, and it was The Wind Beneath My Wings by Bet Midler, and I still can't listen to that song to this day. I've literally been shopping in Walmart before and heard it turn on, and I've instantly stopped. Like, and that says a lot because having worked 10 years in retail, if I am shopping and I need to put something back, I'm not just gonna stick it on a shelf. I'm actually gonna go and put it back in its right spot. But I have quite literally left a cart in the middle of Walmart because that song has come on. Now, no, that song did not come out in 1998. That would be insane, right? Um, first time I heard it was 1998, but it came out in 1989, and I was born in 1989. You know, I it s there's just something about it that is interesting, and in in general, numbers are are fascinating uh for a lot of different reasons, but I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I mean 1998 is the year that shaped me because of all these personal things that I'm talking about. But there's so many things that other people probably grew up with thinking the same thing with Metal Gear, with Dragon Ball, with playing your Game Boy for the first time, the movies that I've talked about, you know, I I I would like to think that, you know, yeah, some of the personal anecdotes and stories you may kind of relate to or, you know, have something that happened in your life that correlates similarly to kind of what I'm talking about, but some of the content, you know, you may remember your first time experiencing those two. Maybe it wasn't in '98, but maybe that will, you know, cause you to reflect. And, you know, maybe you think to yourself, okay, you know, you know, what what kind of defined me? Like, where was there kind of a catalyst point in my life? And maybe it wasn't Metal Gear, maybe it wasn't Dragon Ball, but maybe it was something else. But the other thing that just makes this whole thing about 1998 so hysterical. I've I've had some pretty significant life changes in the last year, and this is not the platform to get into that by any means, but it was interesting to find out that where I wound up based on those life circumstances changing, is you know, with my mom that has an ice cream shop, and learning that the house associated with that ice cream shop was built in 1998. Now, you may think, okay, you're kind of that's kind of a stretch. But, you know, the thing is, my life circumstances that that changed, you know, I mean, maybe where I wound up would not have been that place had that house not been built in 1998. And then more specifically, where I've wound up now, this house was built in 1998. So hey, it's weird, right? Uh, you know, so there's more significance on that year than I could have ever realized. And this isn't just about a year, you know, it's also about numbers, you know, and 1998 is like 724 to me these days. And gosh, I feel like one of these reflections might be talking about that and why I'm so obsessed with that number. And maybe you have a number that you're obsessed with, and maybe you can give me some insight on what the deal is with that. But but anyway, you know, all of that kind of narrative and story about all of those things just to kind of reflect a little bit on, you know, the fact that I I in general am not a very emotional person. You could argue that that comes from some of the stereotypes about men and and how you're not supposed to be. Now, you may say, yeah, but that that whole thing is changing these days, you know, which is valid. I I will argue that it's definitely changing, but some of those stereotypes, you know, still live with me very much, and and I navigate that uh the best of my ability. But I'm not a particularly emotional person at my core when it comes to other people. I would argue I very much can be when I'm by myself, uh, depending on the the content that I consume or or you know my thoughts or whatever it may be. But I I'm someone who thrives very much on structure and routine, you know, and I miss the days of uh, you know, getting up in the morning, going to school, coming home from school, watching Dragon Ball, watching Gundam Wing, you know, that structure and that routine back then, you know, was something that, you know, I always latched on to, and I still latch on to. But as traumatic as, and again, I hate using that word, so I'm not trying to to bait and switch folks or anything. It's just the word that comes to mind. But as as rough of a year as that was, I mean, the things that I am most passionate about and and kind of bring me the most joy also brought came into my life at that point in time. And, you know, look, this podcast started as a kind of therapeutic journey. When I started therapy, it was very much around this, hey, do something you normally wouldn't do. Do something out of your comfort zone. And that's where the podcast came from. This whole concept, these midnight reflections, are probably more what my therapist had in mind because they're a little deeper of a reflection. Sure, we have our side quests like Power Cycle and things, but we don't get that deep. You know, but this is something that, you know, has come up on the pod several times. And some people who know me very well probably understand why 98 is so important, but maybe you never understood the full lore. And, you know, maybe you have a year yourself that was a very defining moment for you. And you can look back on that and realize, you know, how fascinating it could be that that one year could truly like become historic for you. And, you know, it it definitely was for me. And, you know, the the the characters and the stories that I latched on to that that got me through those kind of those those times, those moments, you know, are still kind of with me today and have continued to kind of get me through other things. And it's something just fascinating to kind of think about. And also, you know, arguably 1998 is one of the most like iconic years in gaming. So it's not just a staple year for me and a nostalgic year for me. It's for a lot of people, you know, in the gaming world, and maybe, you know, in others too, you know. So, and the other thing, you know, about 1998 in general is you know, there's a lot of things pre 9-11, you know, that were a lot different pre-social media, you know, pre-heavy internet usage, you know, and I think my my thrive, my itch for nostalgia, you know, there's plenty of things after 98 before 98, you know, that I'm nostalgic for. But I feel that that year specifically, not that I want to go and relive those things by any means. Uh I I I would totally relive, you know, watching Dragon Ball for the first time or playing Metal Gear for the first time, but I wouldn't want to go back and relive the other things. But, you know, I hope this is something that, you know, yeah, it's personal to me, but hopefully something that you can also reflect on, you know, maybe 98's not your year. Maybe it's, you know, 2002, maybe it's 95, maybe it's 2005. I don't know. Maybe, maybe it's something else. But the fact that I can look back on something from that long ago, and it's still be a constant for me today, the same way that some of the things that that negatively impacted me, I still think of, you know, like my grandfather passing away. You know, it it's just, you know, those things you expect to stick with you, but a lot of people, and I heard it a lot growing up as a kid, you know, gaming's just a phase, anime's just a phase, and here I am, 37 years old, or older, if Austin was on here to give me crap, you know, still doing those things. So anyway, look, I mentioned this is just a quick kind of micro episode, no side quests, just a narrative, a little storytelling, some reflection, and then closing things out. I don't know what the next one's gonna be, but they all won't be super introspective. Some of them, hey, maybe I'll just come on and tell you why Metal Gear is so awesome for 30 minutes by just telling you the story. It's not about my opinion in that scenario. I'm just gonna talk about the game. Maybe talk about the Fast and Furious series. People like to give me crap for how good those movies are or bad. You know, these are just solo kind of introspective episodes, you know, midnight reflections, if you will. And uh appreciate you taking the time to listen. And, you know, any feedback is always gonna be warranted and appreciated all the time, but as always, remember some memories, some memories are worth lining up for. Where others, well, they may be worth sitting down and reflecting on.